I'm Not Your Girlfriend Ch. 1

Chapter 1

The chubby cabearit was fast asleep in his bed, Chowder had a fair amount of slawberry icing still on his face from dessert, and was licking it off as he snoozed. At least he was snoozing, until he felt something graze the back of his neck. He opened his eyes and saw the one person who had no business being there, especially past midnight.

"Oh, hi Chowder." Panini said to her crush.

"I'm....not your....*yawn* boyfriend." Chowder said to her drowsily. He would have preferred to shout it, but being half-asleep at the moment, he decided it wasn't worth the effort. Chowder was more concerned about why SHE was in HIS bedroom at 1:30 AM. "Why are you here Panini?" he asked.

"I was just enjoying my favorite pastime of spending Friday night watching you sleep, num nums*." she answered. Chowder was mentally slack-jawed beneath his drowsy face when she said that. "And you've been doing this for how long?" "Oh, I dunno, months." she said in reply. Chowder let out a frustrated sigh and asked her to go home. "Bye my future husband." "Just go." he said.

Chowder couldn't get a wink of sleep for the rest of that night, even after he drank three glasses of blormed milk. He was just so paranoid at the thought of Panini coming back; he'd even taken the step of boarding up his window so she couldn't get in. She'd crossed the line tonight, and Chowder wasn't about to take the chance of her returning. His lack of sleep was extremely evident in the morning as he kept falling asleep in the kitchen. It was only when Chowder dozed off headfirst into a customer's order, that Mung took notice.

"Chowder! Chowder! Wake up!" He shouted into the boy's ear, startling him awake. Mung had never seen his apprentice look this tired before, as he took one look at his sleep-deprived eyes; though on the upside there was still food in the refrigerator for once (Chowder was just too tired to eat any of it.) "Sorry Mung *yawn* I couldn't get to sleep last night. Not after...*yawn*"

'THUD!'

Chowder fell asleep on the kitchen floor, and was out cold once again. Shnitzel came over and tossed a bucket of cold water on the boy, waking him up. "Okay! Okay! I'm up! I'm up!" Chowder said quickly. "What were we talking about again?" he asked his master, having lost his train of thought when he dozed off. "You were about to say why you couldn't get to sleep." He reminded him.

"I couldn't get to sleep because I found out that Panini's been in my bedroom, watching me sleep every Friday for months." "Mung, what did I do to deserve this?" Chowder asked him. Mung didn't really have an answer for his apprentice. Endive's apprentice was the least favorite person Chowder would want to see, his dislike of her driven by the obsessive crush she had on him. "Just once, I'd like her to be able to know what I go through, when she does stuff like that." he said to Mung.

"Radda radda radda radda radda radda radda radda?" Shnitzel asked the boy.

"Reverse Psychology? What's that?" he asked.

"Reverse Psychology is when you get a result from somebody by telling them the opposite of what you want them to do. For instance, Chowder, DO NOT eat this pie." Chowder wanted to follow his master's request, but that spiced grabble pie was just too good to ignore, and was in his stomach five seconds later. "See, that's reverse psychology." "And it might work for you too. Give Panini the same obsessive treatment she always gives you, and see what happens." Mung suggested.

"Thanks Mung." Chowder said.

'THUD!' He was out like a light again.

"Radda radda radda radda radda radda radda." Shnitzel said to Mung.

"Yes, I think it might be best if he waited until tomorrow too." he said in agreement.